Broken Road
by Bec Rose
Summary: Bella, just starting college, begins a relationship with Jacob. He becomes possessive and eventually abusive. Bella struggles to find herself and right her life. Prequel to Light at the End of a Broken Road.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my prequel to my fic "Light at the End of a Broken Road." It is Bella's story and will explain a lot as to why she is so introverted, quiet and damaged.

I want to thank my ever-amazing beta, Nocturnal Emissions. I tell her everyday she is brilliant and her work on this drabble just proves it.

Noc: awwww thanks. You make it easy! And in my defense, if I missed mistakes, it's only cause I kept getting all wrapped up in the story.

Also thank you to my pre-reader Min Gaudion.

**Warning:** Please be aware that this has extreme violence, language and explicit forced sex scenes. It isn't pleasant, but this is Bella's story and needed to be told the way it really happened.

1.

I had never been close to my parents and it didn't even really seem to bother them that I was moving away. I was excited about the whole "college experience". Excited to move to the big city, meet new people, and believe it or not I was looking forward to studying. I managed to find a small one bedroom apartment that I could actually afford, as long as I found a part time job. Moving the furniture, cleaning and settling in to my new place made me happy and content. For the first time in my life I felt like my own person. Independent. So, as celebration to my first night in my own place, I ate ice cream for dinner.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

Working part time at the local coffee shop was perfect. I managed to get some shifts that allowed me plenty of time for my college workload, and was actually ahead of my reading schedule. I had high expectations on myself, and wanted nothing more than to take full advantage of this opportunity.

I only had a couple of boyfriends in high school, and although they were nice, it kind of felt like something was missing. In college I had absolutely no intention of meeting someone, or desire to start dating anyone. So when I met Jake, it took me by complete surprise.


	3. Chapter 3

3.

He came into the coffee shop one morning, during my early shift. I was busy filling cups of coffee for my regulars, not really noticing the faces of the new customers as they walked in. He sat at the end of the counter, perched on a stool, looking at me with the most beautiful smile. He literally took my breath away. He had the loveliest brown eyes, and held my gaze as I walked up to him.

"What can I get you?" I asked politely.

"I would love a cup of coffee, some pancakes and your number please," he stated with a large grin on his face.

I smiled sarcastically in response, hiding the fact that my stomach was full of butterflies from his request.


	4. Chapter 4

4.

He would come into my work a few times a week, and each time would be the same. I lost count how many times he asked me out, and although I was attracted to him, I continued to say no.There was just a feeling I had, something I couldn't explain.

"Bella you should go out with him. He's really cute and he's so into you. He comes in here all the time hoping to see you," my co-worker Victoria commented.

"I don't know, there's just something about him I'm not sure about." It was a nagging feeling.

"Oh don't be silly. Is it his job? So what if painters don't make a lot of money," Victoria chastised me.

I was upset she was implying that I thought I was too good for him. It wasn't that, and I decided that if he asked again, I would give him a chance.


	5. Chapter 5

5.

It didn't take long; the next day he came into the shop.

"Morning sugar. Could I have a coffee and your number please," he smiled.

"Sure," I replied, mirroring his smile.

He didn't seem to understand my agreement until I came back with his coffee and my number written on a napkin. His eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw what I had done.

Regaining some composure he looked at me.

"Well hello there Bella. I'm Jacob. Thanks for your number. I'll give you a call sometime." He sounded almost arrogant.

I didn't really know what to say to him, so I nodded. He looked away, drank his coffee, left his money on the counter and walked out.

It was four days before he decided to call me to ask me out on a date.


	6. Chapter 6

6.

I was excited about the date with Jacob. I wore my favourite blue dress and heels, made sure my makeup was perfect and put my hair up in a soft ponytail. Even though I was nervous and excited, there was still something in the back of my mind that I couldn't quite put my finger on that didn't feel quite right. Jacob seemed like a great guy, so I dismissed the feeling as nerves and decided to take a chance.

Before the date, we had spoken on the phone, both of us telling a little about ourselves. Jacob was 23, a painter by trade and lived with his two brothers. He told me that he enjoyed fixing up motorbikes and partying. I wasn't sure if we were a perfect match, but there was something about him that I liked, and wanted to get to know more of. And if I had to be honest, there was a part of me that was still floored that a guy as good looking as Jacob would be interested in someone as plain as me.


	7. Chapter 7

7.

"Wow, shit Bella, you look amazing." I blushed and smiled at him.

"Thank you, you look pretty good yourself." And he really did. Dressed in a tight black shirt and dark blue jeans. The one thing I really noticed though was how beautiful his smile was. And I saw it a lot because he would smile every time he looked at me.

"So, I thought we could go to dinner and then a movie tonight. What do ya think Bells?" I smiled widely when he called Bells. Instantly it became my nickname.

The night was a success. Dinner and the movie gave way for the perfect stroll holding hands, and then a wonderfully cliche good night kiss.

Jacob had completely swept me off my feet.


	8. Chapter 8

8.

Jacob and I had a routine going within no time. Between my classes, studying and working at the coffee house, we didn't get a lot of time together. Yet the time we did spend together was wonderful. Jacob would be such a gentleman, taking me out for picnics, or just renting videos so we could stay in and I could study.

Though sometimes he was not a gentleman.

"Baby, Bella, please baby." He begged me one evening as we were making out. He wanted more, but I was a virgin and Jake knew it.

"I don't know Jake, I just need some time, I'm nervous and it has to be perfect, you know?" He went quiet, looking down to the floor.

"Hey, please don't be mad with me." I was worried that I had pushed him too far and too long. I wasn't a confident person, and when it came to sex, I had no clue.

"Yeah yeah ok. Time. Fine. Look, I gotta go anyway." He got up and put his jacket on. "I'll call you tomorrow." And with that he had walked out the door, leaving me worried and insecure.


	9. Chapter 9

9.

The next time I saw him there was no tension from our previous time together. He was his usual loving, cuddly self. I breathed a sigh of relief. I was beginning to feel something more than just 'like' for Jacob. It scared me a little, but I knew he was a nice guy and a hard worker.

"Hey Bells, you want take out tonight?" Jacob asked. We had been seeing each other for about five months, and he had never put any more pressure on me to have sex with him. I thought he was very understanding for it.

"Sure." I smiled at him.

It was easy, life was easy. He made me smile and laugh a lot. I knew I loved him, but hadn't said it yet. I don't know why I held myself back, I could have easily said it to him in that exact moment.


	10. Chapter 10

10.

It had been a really stressful few weeks at school. Assignments due, exams to take and more studying. I hadn't properly seen Jacob in a long time, yet I knew he was always around when I needed him.

I walked into my apartment on Friday afternoon, looking and feeling exhausted. I didn't notice that the lights were dim or that there was music playing until I stood at my closed door taking my shoes off.

"Jacob?" I looked around, seeing the apartment had been cleaned and tidied. The small dining table was set with a white tablecloth and two lit candles.

He came walking into the kitchen, holding a bunch of flowers, wearing a tie.

"Jacob?" I smiled.

He grinned back.

"Happy six month Anniversary baby."


	11. Chapter 11

11.

I couldn't help but smile at him, even though I had completely forgotten this date. I felt terrible that I hadn't remembered, and that he had gone to all this unexpected trouble.

"Jacob, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot." He walked up to me shhing me as he took my bag off of my shoulder.

Taking my hand, he lead me towards the dining table. I couldn't take the smile off my face. He poured us both a glass of wine and then went into the kitchen, coming back out with dinner.

"God it smells delicious Jacob." He started to chuckle.

"It's only spaghetti Bells. It's like the only thing I can cook."

"Well, it smells so good. Mmmm I'm so hungry." I started to eat straight away, moaning in delight.


	12. Chapter 12

12.

"You like it baby?" He was waiting for my approval.

"Oh god Jacob, it's so good. Can't. Stop. Eating."

He disappeared into the bedroom after dinner, sending me to the couch, to put my feet up.

I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep until I felt his strong arms pick me up and pull me into his chest.

"Come on baby, I ran you a bath. I want you to enjoy it while I clean up the kitchen."

After a soak I put on my robe and headed into my room. Jacob was sitting on the bed.

"Bella, I know you've said you're not ready, but if you want to, we can do as much or as little as you like." I stood there stunned. I didn't really know what to say.

"Jacob," I whispered, feeling shy, "I'm ready." I stood there, feeling extremely vulnerable.


	13. Chapter 13

13.

He looked at me, stunned. I giggled, thinking he looked like he might fall over from the shock.

Before I could blink, Jacob had tackled me gently onto the bed. I was feeling nervous, yet excited that I was finally going to lose my virginity.

"Jacob, wait." He looked up at me, disappointment crossing his face, maybe something more.

"I just wanted to say, um, I love you." He smiled down at me, brushing his lips gently across mine.

I wanted him to say I love you too. He didn't. There was actually a lot of things I wanted him to do that he didn't. The entire thing seemed like a blur.

It hadn't taken long before I felt him grab my wrists, pull them above my head and enter me. I had screamed out in pain from the sheer force Jacob used to push into me. He hadn't noticed.

Approximately five minutes later it was over. There was blood on the sheets and on my legs and it had been painful to move. Jacob hadn't said anything, except that I should clean myself up. And with that, he rolled over and went to sleep. I felt alone. I had a quick shower and took two painkillers to help with the discomfort. I decided that this must be normal and hoped that it would get better.


	14. Chapter 14

14.

As I laid there the next morning, feeling extremely sore, and slightly disappointed, I realized I shouldn't have put such a high expectation on my first sexual experience. Jacob had gone to a lot of trouble, with the dinner and bath, but the actual moment itself, was, a little bit of a letdown. I figured that once I became more comfortable, more experienced, things would be better.

They didn't. Every time Jacob and I had sex, it was rough, fast and he was usually drunk. He would always hold my wrists, enter me roughly and finish quickly.


	15. Chapter 15

15.

The physical violence started about three months later. I never thought that he would hit me, no matter how angry he got with me, but he did. Though it started with name-calling. I would dress nicely to go to class and he would immediately assume that it was because I was seeing someone else.

"What the fuck are you wearing that for?" Jacob asked me one morning as I grabbed my bag ready to head to class.

I was perplexed. I had no idea what he was talking about. I had been wearing my skinny black jeans and a white shirt. I looked down at my clothes and back up to him.

"What's wrong?" I asked, very clearly confused.

"You are not going to class looking like that." He pointed to my top. "Put something else on."


	16. Chapter 16

16.

I didn't know what to do. I stood there confused. Jacob had never had a problem with what I wore. He liked me to dress up. I often felt like I was being paraded in front of his friends when we went out.

"Did you fucking hear me? I said put something else on," he yelled.

I jumped in surprise at the volume in his demand and quickly made my way to my bedroom. When I returned, he was sitting on the couch. I wasn't sure what to do, or why I was waiting for his approval, but I stood there, waiting. He looked at me with such disgust.

"That's fucking better," was all he commented as he took another mouthful of beer.

I walked out of the apartment, unsure what had just happened, or why I was allowing Jacob to treat me this way. I knew I loved him, and would do anything for him, but I was unsure if this was what love was meant to be like.


	17. Chapter 17

17.

The week was usually quiet. Jacob and I were both busy, him with lots of painting jobs, me studying and trying to complete assignments. My workload was huge, as I was taking an extra semester worth of study on top of my normal course credits. We didn't get to see much of each other on the weeknights, and usually Friday nights, Jacob would go out with his painting buddies.

One Friday I came home late from class. Our tutorial had gone over and a few of my classmates and I had decided to get together for a coffee and a quick chat about the next assignment. When I walked in the door, there were no lights on in my apartment, and I wasn't expecting there to be, as I had left the house that morning in a hurry. I put my bag down and turned on the kitchen light. I jumped back, holding my chest as my heart was beating furiously. Jacob was sitting at the table, drinking.


	18. Chapter 18

18.

"Oh hey Jake, I wasn't..."

"Wasn't what Bella? Expecting me home? Expecting to see me? Where the fuck have you been?" He was angry, and I had no idea why.

"I had coffee with some classmates about our next assignment and.." again, he cut me off.

"And what? What?" he shouted again.

I froze with fear. I could feel my hands trembling and my lower lip began to quiver. I didn't want to cry in front of him, but he was scaring me. I started to feel guilty even though I knew I hadn't done anything wrong.

He stood up quickly from the table, the stool he had been sitting on slammed to the ground, the noise making me jump slightly. He walked over to me, standing close to my body. He grabbed my chin roughly, forcing me to look up at him.

"And what Bella? Hmm? What the fuck have you been doing all day? Fucking someone else? Is that what you've been doing?"


	19. Chapter 19

19.

I was shocked. I had never even looked at another guy and had never mentioned anyone to Jacob, so I was confused as to why he thought I was cheating on him.

"Cos all you bitches cheat, isn't that right, Bella?" he drawed out my name, causing me to shiver under his touch. He was beginning to hurt me, and I tried to slowly move away from him.

As I turned my head out of his hold, I heard the slap before I felt it. It was like I was in someone else's body. Time slowed down, and I felt myself fall the floor. My head began to pound. Before I even had the chance to fully recover, Jacob pulled me up and dragged me into the bedroom, muttering something about bitches and cheating. He pulled my jeans down to my knees, pushed my face into the bed and held onto my hips.


	20. Chapter 20

20.

We had never had sex this way, and I immediately knew I didn't like it. As he rammed into me, pain shot through my body. He held onto my head, pushing it into the mattress each time he thrust into me. I couldn't scream, I couldn't move. It didn't last long, and before I knew it he laid down on my bed next to me, his jeans still around his ankles and passed out.

I laid there, still unable to move, listening to his breathing as it evened out. As soon as I knew he was asleep, I pulled my jeans off the rest of the way, walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. Looking down I could see blood trickling down my thighs. I started to cry quietly, stepping into the shower still wearing my top and jumper. I sat down and sobbed. I have no idea how long I was in there, only getting out when the water began to run cold. I changed into my pajamas, took some painkillers and crawled into bed. I continued to sob until I finally fell asleep.


	21. Chapter 21

21.

When I woke the next morning, I was sore all over. My muscles ached, my head hurt and worst of all, my vagina felt like it was on fire. I winced as I got out of bed and went into the bathroom, only noting briefly that Jacob was still asleep on the bed in the same position he fell into it last night.

As I turned on the light, I leaned down and splashed some cold water on my face. I shuddered from the pain that came from my face, memories flooding back of Jacob hitting me. I looked into the mirror shocked at the person looking back at me. The left side of my face was swollen and bruised, especially around my eye and my lip had a slight cut in it. I had a shift at the coffee shop that morning, and I had no idea how I was going to cover this up. I took a quick shower, used a lot of makeup to cover most of the bruise and dressed in my uniform. As I was putting on my shoes, I saw Jacob begin to stir.


	22. Chapter 22

22.

"Hey baby," he whispered. I didn't reply.

"Where are you going? Come back to bed."

"I have to work Jacob" I said flatly.

"Oh, ok, well hurry home." And with that he rolled over and went back to sleep. Part of me was relieved, the other part was pissed that he hadn't noticed my face. Maybe he had, I didn't know.

Work was busy, which was good, I needed the distraction. I received more tips than usual, but dismissed any reasoning for it.

"Hey Bella, can I talk to you for a sec?" My coworker Victoria asked.

I was surprised, as Victoria and I rarely spoke to one another, although she was always nice to me.

"Sure" I followed her into the storeroom.


	23. Chapter 23

23.

"Bella, um, I don't want to intrude, but I kind of can't ignore the bruising on your face, and I, um, just wanted to make sure you were ok?" She asked nervously.

I was stunned, I really hadn't thought anyone had noticed, and I didn't really know what to say to her.

"Sure Victoria, I'm fine. Really."

"Honestly Bella, you don't look ok. If you ever need any help, or anything, a place to crash, someone to talk to, I'm here."

My face must have given away my surprise, as she continued to talk.

"I know what you're going through, if I'm guessing right, and by the look on your face, I know I'm right. Listen, I've been there, I know what you have to deal with. Let me guess, he gets drunk, hits you, rapes you and then never says sorry, but blames you for it right?"

The tears began to fall softly down my cheeks.


	24. Chapter 24

24.

"You don't have to say anything Bella, just know I'm here. Look, here's my number, call me anytime you need, ok?" She handed me a piece of paper with her number on it.

"It's not normal Bella, you shouldn't have to deal with it. He's wrong for what he's doing to you. I'm so sorry I encouraged you to give him your number, if I had of known what he would be like I would have never..." She cut off when the tears formed in her eyes.

I couldn't say anything to her, the tears flowed freely down my face. She pulled me into a hug and I held on tight, letting everything go for the first time. I sobbed in her arms, relief washing over me that I had a friend in all of this, before finally pulling back and giving Victoria a small smile and a thank you.

I left work feeling better and not really knowing what to expect when I got home.


	25. Chapter 25

25.

"Hey baby," Jacob drawled as I walked in the door.

He jumped up from the couch and jogged towards me. I cowered away, unsure of what he was going to do to me.

"Hey, come here," he said pulling me into a hug. I was frightened, but managed to put my arms around him.

"So, I was thinking we should go out tonight, you know, maybe dinner and a movie or something." He seemed excited, and it was obvious there was going to be no discussion about the bruising that was very obvious on my face.

"Sure Jacob, whatever you like," I whispered.

"Great! Go get freshened up. I've laid out your clothes on the bed." I frowned in response, but he only turned and walked back into the lounge room.


	26. Chapter 26

26.

When I entered my bedroom, I saw he had a pair of jeans and a sweater laid out on my bed. I stood there, looking at them, not really sure if this was a joke, or some kind of test. If it was a test, I really didn't feel like failing it tonight, so I decided to just wear it. As I finished getting ready, I walked into my closet to find a lot of my clothes missing.

"Um, Jake" I shouted

"Yeah"

"Where have my clothes gone?" I asked, confused.

I heard his footsteps as he walked into my room.

"I just got rid of some of the clothes that I didn't like. You had some slutty clothes in there Bells, and I didn't want people to think you were a slut, do you?" He looked at me, asking me like it was the most normal question.


	27. Chapter 27

27.

"Well, no, but I don't have much left now. Could I at least go through the ones you didn't like?" I pleaded.

"No," his voice raised, "I said I got rid of all your slutty clothes. You have everything you need here, now put on some shoes so we can get to the movie on time."

As we sat through dinner and the movie, we looked like any other normal couple. Only I knew we weren't. This wasn't how I had ever imagined my life to be. I had always thought that being with a man meant they looked after you, took care of you and loved you. Jacob had said he loved me, but his actions and words told me different.

It became our new routine, Jacob would set out my clothes for each day and if he didn't, he would have to approve what I wore.


	28. Chapter 28

28.

I had to tell him every day what my schedule was and who I would be seeing. I never went out with any friends or classmates and always came home straight after class, even though I knew Jacob would still be working.

His drinking became an issue, and sometimes he would go to work in the morning with a beer in his hand.

I went along with everything because I did love Jacob. I kept thinking that if I was just more careful, listened to what he said, didn't argue or talk back to him, the fights wouldn't happen. Each time he hit me, I swore if he did it again, I would leave. I never did.

Besides, where would I go, what would I do anyway. Jacob had convinced me to cut my hours back at the coffee shop. Between that and my tuition, I couldn't afford my apartment on my own.

I had no friends to stay with. Jacob had cut me off from those long ago, and my family was far from me. I did once consider just moving back home, but I was so far into school, and I would lose so many credits transferring back, I'd add at least a year onto college. Besides, I did love Jacob, and he loved me. At least that's what he said.


	29. Chapter 29

29.

I hadn't seen my parents since leaving for college, eighteen months ago. I spoke to them at least once a week, but Charlie and Renee had never been the most observant parents.

"Hey Mom," I answered the phone, knowing it was Renee from the caller ID.

"Hi sweetie, how are you Bella?" she asked.

"Ok Mom, how are you and Dad?" I already knew the answer, so I busied myself cleaning my apartment before Jacob finished work.

"Bella, are you listening to me?" I hadn't been and got caught.

"I said we are coming for a visit next weekend."

"Oh," was all I could manage.

"Um, are you sure you wanna come? It's really boring here, and I have lots to do, working and studying." I really didn't want them here, knowing they would want to meet Jacob. Mom thought he was the perfect boyfriend, as I had swooned over him in those first few months.

"Of course baby, we can't wait to see you. It will be like a mini break for your Dad and I."

Later, when Jacob got home I told him about their impending visit.

"Fucking great."


	30. Chapter 30

30.

Seeing my parents made it that much harder to keep up the charade of being in a happy relationship. Jacob had wined and dined them and had completely won them over. It wasn't until I was allowed to go out for some shopping with my Mom that I knew different.

"Honey, I noticed you don't have a lot of clothes, I thought you had way more than that. I think we need a shopping trip," Renee had mentioned on the first night of their visit. I saw Jacob's scowl as I side glanced toward him, yet all trace of it was gone when Renee looked at him.

"Sounds great Bells, you should go." I could hear the disapproval in his voice, but neither of my parents seemed to notice.

That night in bed, after being brutally fucked again, Jacob warned me to not buy any slutty clothes.


	31. Chapter 31

31.

Shopping with Mom had been really fun, the best I had felt since I had arrived here. During lunch, we chatted about friends back home and what had been going on in the town.

"Bella, can I ask you something?" Mom asked quietly.

I looked up at her, "Sure"

"Are you happy?" I wasn't quite sure what she was referring to, so I answered honestly.

"Yeah Mom, schools great. I like it here." I answered as honestly as I could without mentioning Jacob.

"Well honey, that's not really what I was talking about. I meant are you happy with Jacob? Because, don't get me wrong, he seems like a really nice guy, but honestly, you seem..." She cut off the sentence, seeming to look for the right word.


	32. Chapter 32

32.

"Afraid of him."

I didn't know what to say. I hated that my Mom had chosen this time in my life to be so observant.

"No Mom, Jacob's, um, great. We're fine, really." My voice cracked, giving me away, but I couldn't have told Renee the truth, it would have broken her.

"Well, if you need anything baby, please call your Dad and me. We just want you to be happy, and I don't think you are happy at the moment and I know Jacob has a lot to do with that. Make the right decisions Bella, and know we are here for you." She got out of her chair and pulled me into a hug. I tried desperately to stop the tears from streaming down my face.

As soon as my parents left, Jacob started with the interrogation about lunch with my Mom.


	33. Chapter 33

33.

"What the fuck did you tell her, because she kept looking funny at me," he asked accusingly as I tried to busy myself in the kitchen.

As I turned towards the fridge I slammed into Jacob's chest. I made to move back from him, but I wasn't quick enough. He grabbed me by the elbows and slammed me against the fridge.

"What the fuck did you say to your Mom?" he yelled, shoving me against the fridge over and over.

"Nothing Jake, I promise. Really." I tried to show him I was being honest, but he didn't believe me. The rest of the night was spent with Jacob beating me and tying my wrists together with my scarf as he brutally fucked me over and over.


	34. Chapter 34

34.

There was some form of daily abuse, whether it was physical or emotional. I had learned to rationalize what was happening and had even on occasion blamed myself. It reached an all new level a few months later when I was working on a project for class.

I had a partner assignment due. We had a week left to complete it. To get a head start, my partner, James, came over to my apartment so we could work on it together. This was the biggest mistake I made. I knew Jacob was working late and wouldn't be home for hours. I was comfortable with James. He was easy going and a lovely guy, and he was also gay and in a long term relationship. I wasn't expecting Jacob to come home so early as it was Friday lunchtime, yet as I stood in the kitchen making lunch for James and me, I heard his key turn the lock. My heart jumped.


	35. Chapter 35

35.

"Hey Bells," Jacob slurred as he walked in, making it clear he had been drinking.

"Hey Jake, what are you doing here?" I asked casually. He hadn't seen James yet, but I knew that James could hear me.

"Bells, baby, I came home to see you." He walked to fridge and grabbed another beer. Just as he cracked the top, James walked into the kitchen.

"Who the fuck are you?" Jacob yelled as he slammed his beer on the counter, froth spilling over.

"Jacob honey, this is James, my partner for my course assignment." I tried to sound soothing, scared at what he was capable of.

"James, huh? You fucking him Bella?" The accusation was almost laughable, and that's what James did. He laughed.

I heard the punch and saw James fall.


	36. Chapter 36

36.

"Jacob, get off him," I screamed at him, clawing at his body as he was pounding into James' face.

I managed to pull Jacob away from him enough so that he could move away. James had what would be a black eye, bloody nose and an already fat bottom lip.

"Fuck Jacob, I don't know what you think I am doing with Bella, but I am gay, I like boys, I don't want Bella, she's just a friend." He was moving quickly as he was talking, moving to the lounge room grabbing his things.

Jacob was leaning against the counter, catching his breath. He reached for his beer and gulped it all down.

"Good, glad to hear it you fucking pussy. Now leave this fucking apartment, and I had better never see you again."

James looked at me unsure of what to do. I nodded for him to leave. Once he walked out and shut the door, Jacob turned to me.


	37. Chapter 37

37.

"Now, what shall I do with you Bella?" Jacob sneered. I had never been more frightened in my life.

I contemplated running for the door, yet I knew that he would catch me before I could escape. I wasn't sure why I was so scared, I shouldn't have been, I had done nothing wrong.I'd been in this situation before, too many times to count, yet this time it was different. I couldn't explain exactly how, but this time, I feared for my life. I knew there was only one thing I could to, I tried to talk to him.

"Jacob baby, listen to me. James is just my partner for the assignment That's it, nothing else. I wouldn't even call him my friend." I hadn't noticed that I was backing away from him until my back was against the wall.

He came up close to me, his body and face flush with mine.


	38. Chapter 38

38.

"Really Bella, you expect me to believe that?" he spat. I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"See, I don't believe you, and you're going to have to convince me." He snarled as he leaned in closer and grabbed a fistful of my hair.

I screamed, not knowing if anyone would hear me. The sheer pain from him pulling me by my hair was enough to cause the involuntary screams. I tried to keep up with him as he drug me around by my hair, not knowing where he was taking me in my apartment.

"Shut up you stupid bitch. If you think this hurts, well then you're in for a nasty surprise."

My body began to shake, adrenaline pumping through my veins, knowing what he was capable of.

I stood there shaking, waiting for his next move.


	39. Chapter 39

39.

"Jacob, please" I tried to reason with him.

He walked calmly over to me, the only thing giving away his anger was his eyes.

"Do yourself a favor bitch, and shut the fuck up." As he stood back, he reached forward and ripped my t-shirt off my body.

I winced away at the force as he continued to rip my clothes off me, pulling my jeans roughly from me. Standing there in just my underwear, I had no idea what Jacob was going to do to me. I was so mad at myself, pissed that I wasn't standing up to him and telling him to get out of my apartment.

I couldn't find the mental or physical strength to do anything. I turned towards the noise of the shower.

"You know Bella, I'd always known you were a whore, and I knew one day I'd catch you in the act. Tell me Bella, how many times did you fuck him?"

"Jacob," I started. He picked me up by my upper arms and threw me against the wall of the shower.

I screamed out from the ice cold water and the impact of my shoulder.


	40. Chapter 40

A/N: **Warning:**In the next few chapters Jacob is extremely brutal and it will get very violent for Bella. Most of you know the outcome for Bella, but this story needed to be told the way it really happened for her.

40.

"Now wash yourself you slut, I don't want any of the asshole left on you."

I was surprised by my own actions as I began washing myself in the freezing water.

He pulled me out of the shower, throwing a towel at me as I made my way into the bedroom, shivering. My teeth were chattering, desperate for my body to warm up. I reached into a drawer for some clothes.

"No clothes. Sluts don't get to wear clothes" he snarled as he walked over to me and grabbed me by the wrists. I yelped in surprise by his force, and followed him as he pulled me to the bed.

He held my wrists in one hand and grabbed for the lamp on the night stand with the other. He pulled it up, ripping the plug from the socket. At first I thought he was going to hit me with the lamp, but he used his teeth to rip the cord from it, and tossed the broken lamp on the floor.


	41. Chapter 41

41.

"You know we used to have a dog," Jake snarled. "Bitch would go in heat and run around the neighborhood like a slut." I stared at him wide eyed, frozen in fear as he wound the electrical cord tightly around my wrists. "Thing is, with bitches like that," he continued pulling the cord harder, "you've just got to tie them up."

"Jake, let me go," I said in a tone that I hoped sounded confident.

"Let you go? I don't think so. You aren't going to ever leave this bed again. Why should I let you go? So you can run around the neighborhood fucking everyone, fucking James? "

"No, Jake, I don't want to fuck anyone."

"Not even me?" he said, kissing my neck. "You know you want to fuck me."

"Jacob get off of me," I yelled, kicking at him using my last bit of courage.

My fight must have fueled his, because he reared back and stared down at me. The look in his eyes was terrifying, and for a moment I thought I was going to wet myself. At that moment, I didn't think I would live to see morning.


	42. Chapter 42

42.

"Shut up bitch." Before I could even scream he raised his hand and struck me in the face. I could feel the sting on my cheekbone and taste the blood in my mouth. "You're mine and I'll do what I want with you." He hit me repeatedly and then pulled my legs apart.

After assaulting me for nearly an hour, he finally climbed off of me. "God damn, you're a boring lay. I don't even know why I bother. Your body is disgusting, and you don't even know how to fuck. Serves me right for dating a virgin. Shit, I couldn't even pay someone to fuck you. You probably turned that guy James gay with your nasty cunt."

His words stung, perhaps worse than the physical and sexual assault I had just endured.

"Fuck this shit. I'm going out to get a real piece of ass, but I don't need to be worrying about you running around on me. You'll stay here."

And the saddest part? I was actually upset that he was going to cheat on me.


	43. Chapter 43

43.

I was too sore to move, let alone run around. I had no energy left, so when he took my already bound wrists and secured them to the headboard I didn't even struggle.

I heard him leave the apartment and tried to get free of the cord. It seemed the more I struggled, the tighter it got. Eventually I gave up.

The clock on the nightstand said two thirty when I heard him come home.

"Hey baby," he slurred when he reached the bedroom. "I forgive you for earlier. I know you didn't mean it. Now you can make it up to me."

"Jake, you're drunk," I said in my calmest voice. "Please untie me, and we can get some rest."

"Are you turning me down again?" he roared. "God damn it, bitch. I was going to let you earn forgiveness for being such a slut. But clearly you haven't learned."


	44. Chapter 44

44.

He struck my face repeatedly and I kicked to get him away from me. I thought it worked because he got off the bed and left the bedroom. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. He returned less than a minute later holding some zip ties from his tool box. He grabbed my ankle, and though I was kicking, he was able to secure, first one then the other to the footboard. The plastic of the ties cut into my ankles when I tried to move.

The second assault didn't last nearly as long as the first, but he would start up occasionally during the night, each time only to pass out before completing the act.

I don't know how I managed to fall asleep, but I did.

When I woke in the morning, my wrists and ankles were free. I almost thought it was a bad dream, except the marks were still there. Thin lines, that had scabbed over around my ankles, and bruising on my wrists. My lip felt puffy. I sat up in bed about to head to the bathroom to see what my face looked like when Jake walked into the room.


	45. Chapter 45

45.

"Good morning beautiful," he said with a smile, as if nothing had happened. "I made you breakfast in bed."

I sat there stunned.

"Jake," I started, not really knowing what I was going to say.

"I know, I know baby. You're sorry for what you did last night. It's okay. I forgive you. And I had no idea you liked it so rough. You were so wet."

I was wet? He thought I liked it rough? I began to doubt myself. Had I somehow given him mixed signals so that he thought I wanted that?

I was intelligent. I knew deep down I hadn't, and that it wasn't my fault. But somehow it was easier to believe it was just a misunderstanding rather than that I'd gotten myself into domestic violence. I mean, that happened to poor uneducated women, right? That kind of thing would never happen to me? No. And that's what I let myself believe, until the next time.


	46. Chapter 46

46.

Jacob had tied me up two more times that same month, causing the wounds around my wrists and ankles to never quite heal. I had quit my job at the coffee shop, unable to work, and I had fallen behind with my studies. I didn't really have any friends, and although Victoria was concerned, I brushed it off.

I don't know how long I would have let it go on. I don't know how bad it would have gotten or if I would have ever left him. It turns out, I didn't make that decision.

I had been tired and had actually gone to school for a little bit, trying hopelessly to catch up on my studies. I had fallen too far behind to keep up the same pace, but at least I would still graduate.

I was feeling a little bit better as I had made significant progress on one of my papers. To make the day even better, my last class had been cancelled allowing me to go home early and enjoy my evening.


	47. Chapter 47

47.

I still wonder sometimes, what might have been if Professor Clark hadn't eaten bad shrimp and been forced to cancel class. Would I be married with children? Would I be dead? At the time I had no idea the impact that one event would have on my life.

I walked up to my apartment thinking only of the bath I was hoping to take. I was completely focused on the idea of the warm water on my body. Maybe that's why I didn't pick up on the signs, the purse on the couch, the glasses of wine on the coffee table, or the smell of her perfume.

It took me a brief moment to take in the scene playing out before me. Jacob was standing with his back to me, nude. There was a woman in the room with him, but she wasn't nude. I'd wished she was nude. She wasn't, she was wearing my lingerie.


	48. Chapter 48

48.

Jacob was pounding into her and she was screaming on the bed like it was the best sex she'd ever had. Either Jacob was doing something to her that he'd never done to me or she was an amazing actress.

The blonde in the bed opened her eyes and saw me there. She screamed out. "Oh my gawd Jakie! Who is that?"

Jacob stopped and turned to look at me. He had a shocked look on his face, but quickly recovered.

"Oh Jessie, this is my friend Bells. She's going to join us."

"Oh cool," Jessie exclaimed.

I don't know what it was, but something in me snapped. He thought I was going to join him in bed? He didn't seem embarrassed he was caught cheating. It occurred to me just then, that she was likely not the first woman he'd brought back to our apartment, that he'd had in our bed.

"How dare you?" I said trembling.


	49. Chapter 49

49.

"Look Bella, what did you think would happen? You're a terrible lay."

The other girl giggled at his statement. "That isn't really your ex girlfriend is it? I thought she was your mom!"

I just stood there shocked.

"You know Jakie, I like it when people watch, but your mom is creeping me out."

I felt the tears well up. Tears for the time and effort I'd put into the relationship and tears for the pain and humiliation I'd endured. I felt myself lose it, the anger mix in with the sadness of what I was seeing before me. In a small way I was relieved, knowing that this was going to be the end for me, yet at the same time I was absolutely heartbroken. I loved Jacob, even when he hurt me, and in some very sick way, I didn't want to leave him or him to leave me.


	50. Chapter 50

50.

I finally made up my mind, watching him and the other girl, still going for it in my bed. I actually contemplated forgiving him, and that was it. I couldn't do it anymore.

I moved towards my wardrobe, grabbing a bag and stuffing random clothes into it. I didn't have much to choose from, so I only grabbed the essentials. I walked back into the bedroom, seeing Jacob and the other girl, now on her knees in front of him . I looked at them, not really knowing what to say.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Jacob sneered at me, still thrusting into her mouth, as if I wasn't there..

I was speechless, still totally upset, and mad at myself that I wanted to cry and beg him to forgive me, for what I don't know.

"You need to leave you stupid bitch. No one is going to wanna fuck you anyway. You're an ugly, dumb piece of shit, and you'll never find anyone as good as me." The tears streamed down my face, not wanting to believe him, but thinking it was true.


	51. Chapter 51

51.

"I've had enough of you anyway, you're a fucking loser and I've got so many hot girls waiting in line." I didn't move, paralysed by his words.

"Get the fuck out Bella, I don't wanna look at you. I'm gonna fuck my beauty here." And with that he turned back to the girl and began to fuck her face again.

I turned to leave, sobbing quietly. I don't know how I made it out the door, but I did. I was leaving my own apartment, leaving behind what little stuff I had moved in with. None of it mattered, I could walk away, but I didn't want to.

Walking onto the street, the reality of what had just happened fully hit me. I stopped, leaning against a street sign, holding my stomach in agony. I wanted to run back to the apartment and beg Jacob to take me back. He said he didn't want me. He told me I was ugly and no one would want me, not even him.


	52. Chapter 52

52.

I didn't remember even calling her, but the next thing I knew I was being carried by someone off the sidewalk and into a car. I recognised the voice next to him, Victoria.

"It's ok Bella, we have you, it's going to be ok." She repeated the words over and over as I sobbed uncontrollably in the backseat. We drove away from my apartment and my life with Jacob.

I don't know how I managed to live through the next few months. Victoria was kind enough to offer me a place to stay while I finished my last semester at school, and get back on my feet. I started working at the coffee shop again, and saved as much money as possible. My Mom wasn't too surprised that Jacob had left me, but was upset by my reaction, telling me I could do better and to move on. I couldn't. In my weakest moments tried to call him, leaving messages on his phone, asking him to at least talk to me. He never called me back.


	53. Chapter 53

53.

Graduation was a blur, moving through exams and final assignments with surprising ease. I hadn't missed too much and had actually graduated in the top ten percent of my class. Throughout the whole ceremony, I kept looking for him. I had sent Jacob an invitation, hoping he would come and see me finally graduate. He never came and that was the last contact I attempted to make with him.

Victoria had been an amazing friend through everything, letting me stay until I had secured a job with a great firm and saving enough money to look for my own apartment. I had narrowed the selection to two that I liked. I just wanted something simple, furnished, and a good price.

When I had finished inspecting the second apartment, I heard a giggle come from down the hallway. The real estate agent was busy telling me how amazing the complex was, and all the benefits I would have, yet I was captivated that someone could have such an infectious laugh.


	54. Chapter 54

54.

I hadn't laughed or been happy in such a long time, and I envied her. She was walking hand in hand with a man towards the elevators. I was staring at them as they walked past. Thinking she would press the button and wait near the doors, she completely stunned me when she walked right up to me and introduced herself.

"Hi, I'm Alice, and this is Jasper," she introduced herself cheerily. "Are you the new tenant? Because this is an awesome place to live. We're gonna have lots of fun. I just know we'll be the best of friends." She seemed so happy, and very friendly. I was totally unsure of myself, yet I instantly liked her. Without fully thinking it through, I agreed to the lease and moved in that weekend.


	55. Chapter 55

55.

Alice was right. It was a great place to live, and we probably would have been friends and had fun if I'd allowed myself to get close to her. She was always inviting me to spend time with her, or her and Jasper, but I never really felt worthy of her attention. Sure she seemed to like me, but once she got to know me, like Jacob had, she would realize I wasn't worth it. I couldn't handle rejection again.

It's not like I was miserable. I mean yes, I still missed Jacob. Maybe I didn't so much miss what we had, but what we could have had. I know, dumb right? Still I couldn't help it. It's how I felt.


	56. Chapter 56

A/N: A very special thank you to my beta Nocturnal Emissions again, she did an amazing job on this drabble. It wasn't fun to write this, but Bella's back story was very important to know and understand why she is the way she is. If you're not already, make sure you read Light at the End of a Broken Road. Bella will see better days, but the ultimate question will be, will Jacob make a return?

56.

Maybe someday, I'd be able to move on, meet that special someone, if he even existed. I doubted he did. The idea of dating another man had no appeal to me.

I didn't date at all. I didn't socialize with anyone outside of work, and even there, I tried to keep it professional.

People had stopped asking me to hang out. Well, most people. Not Alice. She asked me every chance she got.

"You know Bella," she said in that voice that was like a young girl, but filled with an old woman's wisdom, after I'd turned her down again. "One of these days you're gonna say yes. And you're gonna have so much fun. It's going to change your life. You just wait and see."

I laughed at her comment, but somewhere inside I knew she was right. At the time, I just had no idea how right she was.


End file.
